My friend Anand: A death by choice

It’s now ten years. Ten years since the death of my friend and batch-mate in the college, Anand Ranthidevan and his wife Deepa, who decided to call quits in 2011. They were in their late 30s, successful and happy. Ten years on, and I am still not able to come to terms with his death. Why did he do that? The question keeps lingering in my mind. 

He, in fact, made me think a lot even when he was alive. Anand and I were together in chemical engineering class, REC, Trichy, from 1990-94. I studied in a small town, Srirangam and the college and the liberal world overwhelmed me. More particularly, Anand and his philosophy. That was the first time my idea of what is right and what is wrong was questioned. He used to demolish my assumptions with a wide grin and a ruthless logic that came to him effortlessly. 

It used to go like this: “No, Anand, we should not be selfish.” 

 “Ha-ha, really Mani? Think about it again. We live because we are selfish. We kill to survive. How many living things do you hurt every day! Can you really live without killing or hurting something or somebody?  Think about it. The fittest survive, Mani. Everybody, almost every species does that. That’s the philosophy of life. Don’t get carried away by what people preach. That is done by the powerful to keep order in society. Analyze all that is told to you on the altar of logic. Life is ours and we are responsible to only ourselves!”

Another time, it was “Anand, my house is very small. Can’t invite all our friends.” 

“To invite people home, you don’t need a big house, Mani! All you need is a big heart and a sense of acceptance of your humble background.” 

He was brutally honest. His questions and answers would make many of us, friends and batchmates, uncomfortable. But, he was comfortable with me.  Maybe, I was yet to learn the art of pretension then.  I guess, he liked that frankness. 

He used to laugh at me and my philosophy on life. His forthrightness dipped in sharp wit could penetrate any defence. I have seen him tearing the guys apart in the class, canteen, anywhere. He was seldom seen in a company, and yet he was popular. 

Slowly, I was drawn to him as he challenged my assumptions logically. He taught me to question things objectively. He explained to me how there is nothing called right or wrong and only what we do and what we don’t want to do. He taught me to be bold. Indeed, his contribution to my ‘growing up’ may be much more than what I ever realised. 

He was courageous and smart. I remember the arousing extempore speech he gave on the basketball court, a day before we went on strike against the college management. I remember his smart preparations for exams and how he used to get as many marks as he needed. He never had trouble being the smartest of all. But, he never really was a part of the world we all lived in. He lived in his own world, with his own rules, if at all he had any. 

In a way, he was a philosopher who lived his philosophy.  Even during his college days, he found the word hypocritical. He found pretensions all around. He lived as if he is immune to the pretensions. He lived for himself one day at a time. I never remember him having long-term goals. He lived in the present. Whatever happiness he got out of his karate classes, his ice creams, his laughter- he lived it, fully. 

I did wonder once, what will he do when the karate, ice creams and books fail to enthral him? What will keep him interested in life? Like most men, would he fall into the vortex of love and find a lady who will hold his interest for a longer time? And then maybe children? 

He indeed found Deepa interesting, and they got married in Bangalore, presumably without any fanfare. I remember how he once called me on the phone and announced his marriage. He laughed and said, “I did not send you a marriage invitation, Mani, because, I never printed any! Why should we waste others’ time for my marriage?” I was not surprised a bit. 

Then, I lost touch with him in the midst of a chaotic life. I left Bokaro steel city and joined the IAS. Got married, entered the life of a civil servant and lost myself in the mundane affairs of life. Years rolled on. I lost touch with him. 

At times, Anand would show up in my mind. I wanted to catch up with him and surprise him with how much I have changed. I wanted to tell him that I understand his philosophy much better with age. I wanted to tell him that I fully agree with him that the world is indeed inside our minds and we just live life as we want and we become experts in justifying it. 

But, then, that day never came. Only the news of his death came. Death by choice. Both killed themselves by hanging together leaving a clear death note. “We have lived a very eventful and happy life together. We’ve travelled the world, lived in different countries, made more money than we ever thought possible, and enjoyed spending as much of it as we could on things that brought us joy and satisfaction. We believe in the philosophy that our life belongs to us and only us, and we have the right to choose to die as much as we have the right to live. We have kept Rs 10,000 in an envelope for expenses. We are making this decision in our individual capacities.” 

The death note exhibited the same striking clarity he always had. He never seems to have unanswered questions. But, he left me with so many questions. 

Why he didn’t find a reason to live? Why do I have so many reasons to live. And my reasons are real reasons or have I invented them for my sake? I remembered a quote from Einstein “Strange is our situation here on earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to divine a purpose.” And then he said somewhere else, “I would want to know why He started the universe. For once I knew that answer, then I would know the purpose of my own life” 

Most of us live without knowing the purpose. So, we invent a purpose, may it be a loft one of living for others or a simple selfish one. But, an honest examination would force us to face the fact that we are selfish and we live for ourselves. Even if we assume that we contribute something to the world, the universe and the world are so overwhelming that it makes our contribution so little to be counted. 

Ramana Maharishi says, “Your own Self-realization is the greatest service you can render the world.” Did Anand realize himself, the greatest service in the world? Did his brutal honesty lead him to feel that he has no more reason to live? Does his honesty mock me and my pretension to life? 

Destiny has strange ways of mocking us; at our pretensions;  the list of reasons that we invent to live; spouse, kids, family, friends, and society. Endless list of reasons. So, when I realize that all those lists are invented by me for my own selfishness, what will I do? Can my honesty survive the emptiness? Will that self-loathing and emptiness claim me? Did that claim Anand?

These questions remain unanswered even after ten years of his death. 

The School on the banks of the river Cauvery

A single moment can decide the course of our life.

My life's course was decided in 1983, almost 40 years ago, in the month of May, at Tiruchirappalli, Tamil Nadu, on the banks of river Cauvery. It was about my admission to 6th std in a new school, after finishing primary school.

I wanted to join the E.R. High School, located on the southern banks of river Cauvery and part of the city of Tiruchirappalli. It had a good reputation and was also affordable. My father took me there for admission to 6th grade. Unfortunately, I didn’t fare so well in the ‘entrance test’ to get the merit seat and hence was offered a ‘donation seat’ which came with a premium. My father could not afford that. As it was already noon, and my father wanted to get me admitted soon, he prodded the ER school clerk.

“Is there any other good school nearby that would charge fewer fees?”

“There is this Srirangam Boys High School. But, it is across the river and away from the main city. Would you be interested?"

The normal answer would have been a 'no'. Because river Cauvery was the northern boundary of the city and no student from the city ever ventured to cross the river and study on the Island of Srirangam. But, my father took a decision to cross the river and to go and see the school. That was the moment.

The decision to cross the river was like crossing the Rubicon. It changed my life.

We reached the school around 2 pm in the noon. Surprisingly, I did quite well on the entrance test. The principal, Shri. Sanakaranarayana, (SSN) was impressed and admitted me immediately.

Had I not studied in Srirangam school, I would not have met RC sir (R. Chandrasekhar), the best teacher I have ever come across in my life. He taught Chemistry and I fell in love with that subject. Because I liked Chemistry, I decided to do Chemical Engineering. Because I wanted to do Chemical Engineering, my choice of colleges narrowed down and I ended up at Regional Engineering College, Trichy (Now, NIIT).

And REC, Trichy, changed me from a small-town boy into a confident youngster to get two jobs in the campus placement and later choose a third one at SAIL, Bokaro Steel Plant. And it is because of joining SAIL, I could prepare for IAS and clear it in 1998.

So, the person behind all these is Shri. R. Chandrashekar, fondly RC, the Chemistry teacher. So, what did RC sir do?

Apart from teaching well, he encouraged students as I have seen never before. Every attempt to answer the question in the class will be received with such genuine admiration from him! He was a world of motivation and recognition. He will look for reasons to appreciate everyone. Even if someone answers a very simple question, he will applaud and say. “Padichuttu Vandheengala, very good” (Oh, you have read well and come to the class!).

It made us read more and more. Students were motivated to read the lessons prior to the class and come prepared to hear those encouraging words. Even the worst student in the class never bunked RC sir’s class. In fact, the backbenchers would be found in the chemistry lab, even if they miss the regular classes.

It was not just chemistry, but, RC sir pushed the students to challenge their limits. When I struggled to speak a single sentence correctly in English, he sent my name to the district-level English debate competition! When I was horrified to see my name, he simply said, ‘Unnum Aagadhu, neenga Nalla pesuvinga parunga’ (Nothing will happen, you will do well!). I didn’t do well, but that was the starting point for my debate competitions and it took me to the position of becoming General Secretary of the College Student’s Union at REC, Trichy.

Now, when I look back, I realize the most important quality in a teacher is to encourage and build confidence in the student. When the teacher keeps faith in the student, the student almost always redeems it. And RC sir did that with aplomb.

My school friend JP (whom I bumped into after 20 years!) concurs with me that RC sir is the best teacher anybody would ever come across. To this date when we call RC sir, we feel the same encouraging and motivating words from him. He is a true blessing in life.

The school had other legendary teachers too. V Ramanujam, (Math), PN Shekar (Biology) N Gopala Krishnan (English/Maths), Nacchimuthu (Physical Education), apart from the dear school Principal, Sankara Narayan sir. His physics classes were a treat to listen to.

The school is now called ‘The higher secondary school for Boys, Srirangam’. What sets the school apart from other schools is the fact that it drilled the sense of duty as the highest quality among all.

The motto of the school is ‘Duty thine only Idol’. This will surprise many. Because it keeps one's duty first, even before worshipping God. That too for a school, that is located on the Island of Lord Ranganatha and almost every founder and teachers of the school are deeply religious. This was ingrained in my mind, that duty comes first in life.

Decades later, in 1999, when I saw the etching on the entablature of Vidhan Soudha, the seat of the Karnataka Government, ' Govt work is God’s work’, I found it echoing the words 'Duty thine Only Idol'.

From the banks of the river Cauvery to the portals of Vidhana Soudha, the journey was made possible by my school, the Srirangam Boys High School, and the decision to cross the River Cauvery.

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NB: My sincere thanks, Shri.

Suresh Kumar S

, the Hon'ble MLA and ex-minister for Karnataka Govt for prodding me to write this two years back.

Leadership at the times of Corona - How do I volunteer?

ಕರೋನಾದ ಸಮಯದಲ್ಲಿ ನಾಯಕತ್ವ -

ನಾನು ಹೇಗೆ ಸ್ವಯಂಸೇವಕನಾಗುವುದು? (The English version is after this Kannada version)
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ಕರೋನಾ ದಾಳಿ ನಾವು ಊಹಿಸದ ವಿಷಯ. ಇದು ನಮ್ಮ ಮನೆಗಳ ಒಳಗೆ ಮತ್ತು ಹೊರಗೆ ನಡೆಯುವ ಯುದ್ಧ. ಯಾರೂ ಸುರಕ್ಷಿತವಾಗಿಲ್ಲ. ನಾವು ಸುಮ್ಮನಿರಲು ಸಾಧ್ಯವಿಲ್ಲ. ನಾವು ಹೋರಾಡಬೇಕಾಗಿದೆ. ಈ ಯುದ್ಧವನ್ನು ಎದುರಿಸಲು ನಮಗೆ ನಾಯಕರು ಬೇಕು! ಈ ಯುದ್ಧವನ್ನು ನಾವು ಹೇಗೆ ಹೋರಾಡುತ್ತೇವೆ?

ನೀವು ನಾಯಕನಾಗಲು ಬಯಸುವಿರಾ?

ನೀವು ಸರ್ಕಾರದೊಂದಿಗೆ ಕೈಜೋಡಿಸಬಹುದು ಮತ್ತು ತಂಡದ ಭಾಗವಾಗಬಹುದು. ಸಮುದಾಯ ಮತ್ತು ರಾಜ್ಯ ಮತ್ತು ನಮ್ಮ ತಾಯಿನಾಡಿಗೆ ಸೇವೆ ಸಲ್ಲಿಸಲು ಸ್ವಯಂಸೇವಕರಿಗೆ ವೇದಿಕೆ ನೀಡುವಲ್ಲಿ ವಾರ್ತಾ ಮತ್ತು ಸಾರ್ವಜನಿಕ ಸಂಪರ್ಕ ಇಲಾಖೆ (ಡಿಐಪಿಆರ್) ಭಾರತೀಯ ರೆಡ್‌ಕ್ರಾಸ್, ಕರ್ನಾಟಕ ಮತ್ತು ಕರ್ನಾಟಕ ರಾಜ್ಯ ಕಾರ್ಮಿಕ ಸಂಸ್ಥೆಯೊಂದಿಗೆ ಕೈಜೋಡಿಸಿದೆ.

ಸ್ವಯಂಸೇವಕ ನಾಯಕನಾಗಿ, ನೀವು ಸ್ಥಿರ ಅಥವಾ ಕ್ರಿಯಾತ್ಮಕ ಅಥವಾ ಎರಡೂ ಪಾತ್ರಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂದನ್ನು ನಿರ್ವಹಿಸಬಹುದು.
ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ:

ನೀವು ನಿಮ್ಮ ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿರಬಹುದು ಮತ್ತು ಇಂಟರ್ನೆಟ್ ಮೂಲಕ ನಮ್ಮೊಂದಿಗೆ ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡಬಹುದು. ನೀವು ಟೆಲಿಗ್ರಾಮ್ ಗುಂಪು ಅಥವಾ ಯೂಟ್ಯೂಬ್‌ನಲ್ಲಿ ಡಿಜಿಟಲ್ ಮಾಧ್ಯಮದಲ್ಲಿ ನಮ್ಮ ಪ್ರಮುಖ ಭಾಗವಾಗುತ್ತೀರಿ.

ನೀವು ಗುಂಪುಗಳನ್ನು ನಿರ್ವಹಿಸುವ ನಿರ್ವಾಹಕರಾಗಬಹುದು ಅಥವಾ ನೀವು ವೈದ್ಯರಾಗಿದ್ದೀರಾ ಅಥವಾ ತಜ್ಞರಾಗಿದ್ದೀರಾ ಎಂದು ಕೇಳಿದ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗಳಿಗೆ ಉತ್ತರಿಸಬಹುದು. ಆದರೆ ಆಯಾ ಕ್ಷೇತ್ರದ ಪಾತ್ರ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಆಸಕ್ತಿಕರವಾಗಿದೆ.

ಕ್ಷೇತ್ರದಲ್ಲಿ (Field visit):

ಇಲ್ಲಿ, ನೀವು ಮೊಬೈಲ್ ಎಂದು ನಿರೀಕ್ಷಿಸಲಾಗಿದೆ. ನೀವು ಭಾರತೀಯ ರೆಡ್ ಕ್ರಾಸ್, ಡಿಐಪಿಆರ್ ಮತ್ತು ಕೆಎಸ್ಎಲ್ಐನ ಕಣ್ಣುಗಳು, ಕಿವಿಗಳು ಮತ್ತು ಅಂಗಗಳಾಗಿರುತ್ತೀರಿ! ನೀವು ತಿರುಗಾಡುತ್ತೀರಿ ಮತ್ತು ಸರ್ಕಾರಕ್ಕೆ ತಲುಪಿಸುವಷ್ಟು ಮುಖ್ಯವಾದ ಯಾವುದನ್ನಾದರೂ ಹುಡುಕುತ್ತೀರಿ. ಅಲ್ಲಿಂದ ಬರುವ ಸುದ್ದಿಗಳನ್ನು ಪರಿಶೀಲಿಸಲು, ಅದು ನಿಜವಾದ ಅಥವಾ ನಕಲಿ ಎಂದು ನೋಡಲು ನೀವು ಕೆಲವು ಸ್ಥಳಗಳಿಗೆ ಭೇಟಿ ನೀಡುತ್ತೀರಿ. ಏಕೆಂದರೆ, ಅನೇಕ ಬಾರಿ, ಇದು ವದಂತಿಯಾಗಿದೆ ಮತ್ತು ಅದನ್ನು ಯಾರೂ ಪರಿಶೀಲಿಸದ ಕಾರಣ ಅದು ಹರಡುತ್ತದೆ! ಈ ಸ್ಥಳದಲ್ಲಿ, ನೀವು ನಾಗರಿಕ ವರದಿಗಾರರಾಗಿ ಅಥವಾ ಸರ್ಕಾರಿ ಅಧಿಕಾರಿಯಾಗಿ ಕಾರ್ಯನಿರ್ವಹಿಸುತ್ತೀರಿ ಮತ್ತು photograph ಛಾಯಾಚಿತ್ರ (ನಿಮ್ಮ ಮೊಬೈಲ್‌ನಲ್ಲಿ ತೆಗೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳುವಿರಿ) ಅಥವಾ ವೀಡಿಯೊ, ಸಂದರ್ಶನ ಇತ್ಯಾದಿಗಳ ಪುರಾವೆಗಳೊಂದಿಗೆ ನಿಖರವಾಗಿ ಏನಾಯಿತು ಎಂದು ನಮಗೆ ತಿಳಿಸಿ. ವಾಸ್ತವವಾಗಿ, ಸಮೀಕ್ಷೆ ಮಾಡುವುದು ಮತ್ತು ವರದಿ ಮಾಡುವುದು ಮುಂತಾದ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಆಸಕ್ತಿದಾಯಕ ಕೆಲಸ ಇರುತ್ತದೆ. ನೀವು ಏನು ಮಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದೀರಿ ಎಂಬುದನ್ನು ದಾಖಲಿಸಲಾಗುತ್ತದೆ ಮತ್ತು ಕೆಎಸ್‌ಎಲ್‌ಐ ಅದರ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ವಿವರವಾದ ಅಧ್ಯಯನವನ್ನು ಮಾಡುತ್ತದೆ.

ನಿಮ್ಮ ಈ ಪಾತ್ರವು ಸಂಪೂರ್ಣವಾಗಿ ಸ್ವಯಂಪ್ರೇರತವಾಗಿದೆ ಮತ್ತು ಗರಿಷ್ಠ 3 ತಿಂಗಳ ಅವಧಿಗೆ ವಿಸ್ತರಿಸಬಹುದು. ಆ ಸಮಯದಲ್ಲಿ, ಮುಖಗವಸುಗಳು, ಸ್ಯಾನಿಟೈಜರ್‌ಗಳು ಮುಂತಾದ ಸಂಪೂರ್ಣ ಸುರಕ್ಷತಾ ಕಿಟ್ ಅನ್ನು ನಾವು ನಿಮಗೆ ಒದಗಿಸುತ್ತೇವೆ. ಅಗತ್ಯವಿದ್ದರೆ ನೀವು ಕಾರ್ಮಿಕ ಇಲಾಖೆಯ ಇಎಸ್‌ಐ ಆಸ್ಪತ್ರೆಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಉಚಿತ ವೈದ್ಯಕೀಯ ಸೌಲಭ್ಯವನ್ನು ಸಹ ಪಡೆಯುತ್ತೀರಿ.

ಯಾವುದಕ್ಕೂ ಕಾಯದೇ ದಯವಿಟ್ಟು ನೋಂದಾಯಿಸಿ:
https://covid19.karnataka.gov.in/coronawarrior.html

ನಿಮ್ಮ ಕೆಲಸದಲ್ಲಿ ನಿಮಗೆ ಸಹಾಯ ಮಾಡಲು ನಿಮಗೆ ಗುರುತಿನ ಚೀಟಿ, ಕಿಟ್ ಮತ್ತು ಬ್ಯಾಕ್ ಪ್ಯಾಕ್ ನೀಡಲಾಗುವುದು!

ನೀವು ಅಭಿನಂದನಾ ಪ್ರಮಾಣಪತ್ರವನ್ನೂ ಸಹ ಪಡೆಯುತ್ತೀರಿ!

ನೀವು ಅನುಕರಣೀಯ ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡಿದರೆ, ನೀವು ಸರ್ಕಾರದಿಂದ ಬಹುಮಾನವನ್ನು ಪಡೆಯುತ್ತೀರಿ.

ನಾಯಕ ಒಮ್ಮೆಗೇ ಉದ್ಬವಿಸುವುದಿಲ್ಲ.ಅದರೆ ಈಗ ನೀವು ಹಿರೋ ಆಗುತ್ತಿರಿ, ಸಾಮಾನ್ಯ ಸಮಯದಲ್ಲಿ ಅಲ್ಲ, ಅದು ಬಿಕ್ಕಟ್ಟಿನ ಸಮಯದಲ್ಲಿ. ಯೋಚಿಸಿ ಮತ್ತು ಕರೆ ಮಾಡಿ. ನಿಮ್ಮಲ್ಲಿರುವ ನಾಯಕನನ್ನು ಜಾಗೃತಗೊಳಿಸಿ! ಕೆಚ್ಚೆದೆಯ ಹೊಸ ಜಗತ್ತಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಸ್ವಾಗತ!



The Corona onslaught is something we never imagined. It’s a war which is fought both inside and outside our homes. We are in the uncharted territory. But, we need to fight this. This battle needs leaders who are selfless and who can innovate as they move ahead. 

Do you want to be such a leader? DO YOU HAVE IT IN YOU?

If so, be a volunteer. One has to serve to lead. You can join hand with the govt and be a part of the 'Corona Warrior' team. The Dept of Information and Publicity (DIPR) has joined hands with The Indian Red Cross, (KSLI) Karnataka and Karnataka State Labour Institute in providing a platform to the volunteers to serve our community, our state and our motherland.

As a volunteer leader, you can play any of the following roles:


1. Food: Cooking
2. Food: Delivery
3. Food: Sourcing raw materials
4. Telemedicine (only if you are a doctor)
5. Telemedicine: Psychiatric counselling
6. Medical Infrastructure
7. Fieldwork: Media/Busting fake news
8. Fieldwork: Along with police
9. IT support from home
10. IT support at the control room, Infantry road/MIS
11. Strategy/Supply chain/Logistic planning
12. Website: design/maintenance
13. HR mgmt
14. Public relations
15. I can do any work given!

Most of these roles have both the static (WFH) or dynamic (Field) component.

WORK FROM HOME:

You can be at your home and work with us thru the internet. You will part of our front end on the digital media, in the Telegram group or YouTube and moderate them. You can be an admin managing the groups or answer the queries asked if you are a doctor or an expert.

At the FIELD:

Here, you are expected to move around and hence a transport for yourself.  Both you and your vehicle will be issued with a pass. You will be the eyes, ears and limbs of the Indian Red Cross, DIPR (Department of Information and Public Relation) and KSLI (Karnataka State Labour Institute). You will move around and look for anything that is important enough to be conveyed to the govt.

You will also visit certain places to verify the news coming from there, to see if it's genuine or fake. Because, many times, it’s a rumour and it spreads as nobody can verify it! In this place, you act as a citizen reporter or a govt official and tell us what exactly happened with evidence like a photograph (taken in your mobile) or video, interview etc.

In fact, there will be much more interesting work like making a survey and reporting. What you are doing will be documented and KSLI will do a detailed study on that, with credits to you!

This role is purely voluntary and may extend for 3 months period at the maximum. During the time, we will provide you with full safety kit like masks, sanitizers etc. You will also get the free medical facility at the ESI hospitals of the Labour dept if required.

The organisation will be headed by a Task Force at the state level, and then we will have district coordinators and then local coordinators. 

You have ample scope to serve and thus, to lead. You can register here. 

Please register: https://covid19.karnataka.gov.in/coronawarrior.html

Within 7 days of registration, you will be issued the ID card, a kit and a backpack to help you in your work, depending on the need. Thus, if you Work from Home (WFH), you may be not given the kit or ID card. Your selection to the programme is based on the feedback from the zonal coordinators who are from Civil defence dept, and their decision is final. We have no time to entertain any questions on their decision.

If you do not hear from us even after 7 days of your registration, then, post it in the Telegram group https://t.me/karnataka_Covid19 or call 155214 and leave your details. You will get an appreciation certificate for your participation, again on the recommendation of the zonal coordinators. If you do exemplary work, you will get a reward from the govt too.

At the same time, be aware of the risks involved in outdoor work. You will be signing an indemnity bond that would free the govt of any liabilities legally. Also, the task Force reserves the right to remove you from the Volnteership due to any reason, after giving you an opportunity of being heard in writing.

If you have any questions, join this telegram group and ask: https://t.me/karnataka_Covid19

Leaders are born, not during ordinary times, but during a crisis.

Many years later, when you grey and narrate this historical event to your grandchildren, and if they ask "Did you do anything to help others during the pandemic?', you should have something to say? Isn't? Then, this is your opportunity.